The Good in Every Situation: Niecie

What is one situation or experience in your life where circumstances looked bleak, but God pulled you through?

Denise Johnson
Hospice social worker, St. Louis, MO

"My life is truly a testimony of God’s love towards me. My most recent and freshest wound in my life has been the recent passing of my father, Carl Louis Jackson. When he began to have shoulder pain, we had several CAT scans, x-rays, and MRIs done. The diagnosis was severe arthritis.

Finally, after several hospitalizations he was diagnosed with lung cancer. This blew me out of the water.

The decision was made to do radiation to address the pain and shrink the tumor that was causing the discomfort.

During this time, God’s loving arms were around me. He sent friends to check on me and spend time with me for the challenges ahead. My co-workers during the whole six months were a constant support. I know only God touched their hearts to come and do yard work, provide monetary support and a listening ear. My church family was just that: a wonderful family of love and concern. Their words of encouragement truly helped me.

During the times of radiation, I saw my once strong and happy father become a frail and sad shell of a man. This truly broke my heart. It became difficult to care for him and my sister chipped in and allowed him to stay with her while I continued to work.

Two days after my birthday, we received the news: “There’s nothing else we can do. He has six months to a year, and hospice needs to be involved.”

They also suggested nursing home placement. I could not do that, and my sister stated she could not handle if he died at home with her. But the Lord touched her heart to take on this role of main caregiver. This was a big change for me since I had had this role for more than 24 years. Even in this, God spoke to my heart to let go and that she was his daughter, also. This was a big blow to me again. But God’s grace was there ever so grandly.

My dad was mad that the doctor shared this with him. He became very emotional. I never, ever seen my father cry except 24 years ago when my mother, Helwee Williams, died of lung cancer.

How can someone lose two parents by the same enemy? This blows my mind!
Since I work as a hospice social worker, my company was used for hospice. This provided extra support to my sister. She thanked me for selecting the team that I did because she felt comfortable with them. This was important for me, also. Picking the team was not hard because anyone I would have chosen would have been great. I am blessed to work with an awesome group of people.

I was able to spend time with my Dad and see the changes that come with one who is dying; decreased eating and drinking, sleeping more and decreased interaction. This was hard due to my dad being such a ray of sunshine and a conversationalist. I had to embrace where he was going and where I was at. I held his hand and kissed him several times, preparing for him to leave me.

In that, God was there holding me and keeping me from breaking down. I was able to be present when he died (I thought I might not be since he was living away from me). This was his last gift to me.

God continues to walk with me, and some days are hard, especially at night since we lived together all my life. I still look in his room and say “Good night, Daddy.”

The love of Jesus never ends. He surrounded me with family and friends during the funeral and I knew the Lord was there, holding me up."

“I call out to High God, the God who holds me together. He sends orders from heaven and saves me. God delivers generous love, He makes good on His word.” Psalm 57:2-3